Again, looking back, it's only a matter of chance that I went to the bedroom and not to the bathroom. If I'd made it to the bathroom, I would've drawn the tub full of hot water and soaked myself right out of this suit, and right out of the most fascinating, satisfying and profitable years of my life. As it was, I was locked into the bedroom, screaming and crying. Eric and Nancy tried to get me to come out, but I wouldn't. I couldn't face them. I couldn't face myself! I methodically broke every mirror in the bedroom, even the little ones in compacts of makeup. I couldn't bear to look at myself.Finally, after I had been freaking out in that bedroom for maybe a half hour, I heard Eric calling to me saying,"Look, JIMMY! If you don't come out of there and talk to me, I'm going to have to use that command phrase and make you come out against your will. Now I don't want to do that, but you're leaving me no choice. If you still want to call this off after we talk, I'll understand. I'll be. God, what an awful place to spend Christmas eve. Not the way I normally experienced Christmas. This was one of the lowest times of my life.I zipped my jacket up again and slipped and slid across to the Howard Johnson’s. It was almost empty, just a few people there, and all of them strangely clustered together. I figured out why pretty quickly: there was only one waitress, plus the manager, at the front of the house.I wound up sitting at a table next to what looked like a coed, also on her way home from college. Her eyes were pretty when she glanced at me, and she had shoulder-length, straight, brown hair. She looked down again at her menu as I sat down, which I took as a signal.So, I got busy with my menu, selected whatever looked best, like I really cared, and ordered, then twisted my fork, making patterns on the napkin while I waited for the food to arrive.The waitress, Betty her tag said, brought my supper, and said, “If I can ask, would you please eat up? The manager wants to.
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